Thoughts of an army wife...

2010-02-23T10:53:00.000-05:00

testingggg

Watch Kynlee Grow :)

2009-10-01T21:41:00.000-04:00

╔═[.♥.]════════════════════════════════════════╗
[[Watch Kynlee Grow]]
Birth 8.13.09: 7 lbs 11 oz
4 days old: 6 lbs 14.7 oz
5 days old: 7 lbs 3.6 oz
2 weeks old: 8.08 lbs
5 weeks 4 days old: 9 lbs 5.2 oz
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Please help!

2009-09-28T06:43:00.000-04:00

Dear Friends,

This year I have signed up to walk in the American Cancer Society Making Strides Against Breast Cancer and I’m hoping you’ll support me. I know that there are a lot of breast cancer events out there, but Making Strides speaks to me because funds raised enable the American Cancer Society to help people stay well and get well from breast cancer, find cures, and empower people to fight back today. With your help, we can save lives.

They say that every donation makes a difference, and it really is true. I know that times are tighter than normal for many of us, but if you can spare even $5, it truly will make a difference. If everyone walking in Making Strides this year were able to raise just $5 more, we would raise an additional $3 million to fight breast cancer. Imagine what an incredible difference we could make together!

To support me in my efforts, please visit my personal page. If you’re going to be in town, I’d love for you to join my team and walk with me. If not, please support my efforts with a donation of whatever amount you can spare.

As a little extra inspiration, I thought you might like to know a few of the ways your donation will help the American Cancer Society save lives every day:

* More people in our community will have the information and tools they need to help prevent breast cancer or find it early.
* More people with breast cancer will have a place to turn around the clock to help them through every step of their cancer journey whether it’s a free ride to treatment, a place to stay, or just talking to someone who has "been there."
* More progress will be made toward finding breast cancer’s causes and cures. The American Cancer Society has played a role in nearly every major breast cancer breakthrough of the last century, which have led to the discovery of lifesaving breast cancer treatments like Tamoxifen and Herceptin. You will help us find more.
* More women like our own mothers, daughters, sisters, and grandmothers will have access to lifesaving mammograms and treatment they need.

Each of us has our own reasons for caring about the fight against breast cancer … whatever your reasons, I hope you’ll choose to make a difference by signing up to walk with me or making a donation online to support my effort. I’m so grateful to have great people like you in my life who care about breast cancer! Together we will make a difference, make history, and make strides.

Sincerely,

Emily Hudson

Our little princess is here!

2009-08-27T12:03:00.001-04:00

She is 2 weeks old today :D

oh life..

2009-08-06T12:56:00.002-04:00

the past two days I have been feeling rather rough. My heartburn has gotten ten million times worse (which I never thought was possible) and I have been nauseous to the point I do not want to get off the couch. I know I need to stop being lazy and get up but I just don't feel good. It makes me wonder how I am going to be a good mom sometimes if I am so lazy in everyday life. I guess you always start doubting things right before you have a baby. I just hope my body does what it is supposed to so I do not have to have a c-section. My dad has plane tickets to come up the 17th so I pray that I really do get induced on the 18th so my family can be here. We will see more on Monday but hopefully i will have progressed more or else I am gonna be stuck not knowing what to do. She has stopped moving so much and I guess she is running out of room but it freaks me out. I am just ready for her to be out safe and sound :)

Last night I developed like a million and ten stretch marks. They get worse by the minute. Matt thinks its pretty funny but I hate them. They are ugly but I can handle ugly but they itch so bad. I am just lathering up with lotion and oil to stop the itch. I hope I can get back in shape after having her, it stresses me out to think about. I don't want her to have an unhealthy weighted mother. I know my body needs to be in much better shape afterward so I am determined to work at it.

I think I am just babbling so thats all.

Jean's ready to fight!

2009-08-02T00:48:00.002-04:00

Here are some pictures of jean at the doctor with her pink boxing gloves. She is a fighter already and is ready to fight this disease. Please pray for her battle with breast cancer.

the only jacksons i'll be mourning over...

2009-08-01T18:11:00.001-04:00

The cause of Mr. Jackson's death was obvious to anyone who saw him.

Really, no autopsy was necessary.

It was cardiac arrest. Caused by a roadside bomb.

I'm not talking about Michael Jackson, the supposedly drug-addled entertainer whose death has dominated every waking moment these past few days.

Instead, as we head toward Independence Day, I found a few other Jacksons whose deaths didn't receive the attention they should have.

Let's start with Army Spec. Marlon P. Jackson, who was the first American soldier named Jackson to be killed in Iraq.

It was Nov 11, 2003 that Spec. Jackson's vehicle rolled over the detonator on an improvised explosive device, better known as an IED. Nobody called 911. It just blew up and ripped him apart.

CNN didn't break in. The Internet didn't report that a 25-year-old named Jackson was headed to a field hospital. Teary-eyed fans and supporters didn't deliver flowers to his boyhood home in New Jersey.

He just died while serving our country. A while later, his family found out.

It was a similar story for Jackson #2, less than a year later.

This Jackson was a military woman. The cause of Ms. Jackson's death was also obvious to anyone who saw her.

No autopsy needed.

Cardiac arrest.

Roadside bomb.

Army Pfc. Leslie D. Jackson was just an 18-year-old from Richmond, Virginia.

She died in Baghdad as the truck she was driving returning to the security of Camp Eagle. TMZ, the celebrity Web site, didn't rush an Internet bulletin about Pfc. Jackson's death and how she had loved to shop and do her nails, according to a friend.

She wasn't a superstar.

She was just another dead soldier.

"The Army is what she wanted. That's why there are no regrets," said her aunt, Pearl Roberts, in another interview that you never saw.

Next was Army Chief Warrant Officer Kyle E. Jackson. On Jan. 13, 2006, Chief Jackson was in a Warrior helicopter near Al Sukar, Iraq when the chopper came under small-arms fire.

This Jackson, 28, had no security entourage protecting him. And he couldn't dance his way past the enemy gunfire. Chief Jackson, from Sarasota, Florida, was killed.

There were no instant TV specials about his death or how he was a decorated Marine before moving over to the Army and how he had been awarded the Purple Heart. Magazine covers weren't changed at the last minute to accommodate a picture story with his grieving widow Betsy and two young children.

Then there was Staff Sgt. William S. Jackson II of Saginaw, Michigan. No autopsy needed on this Jackson, 29.

During combat operations at Ramadi, Iraq he was blown up by a roadside bomb. Even though "Jack," as he was known to friends, died on Veteran's Day, his demise warranted only cursory attention.

The story would have been remarkable. Lived an actual "white glove" kind of life. From a military family, he met his wife at a Wisconsin Bible college. After surviving a tour in Afghanistan, he volunteered for Iraq. And died there, leaving behind four children under age 6.

"Certainly Jack loved the Lord and loved his family. He loved his wife, and he loved his country. He was a wonderful man, and we'll dearly miss him" said his pastor.

Although there were no global memorials for Jack Jackson, he is buried at Arlington National Cemetery.

Finally, just last year, came the last Jackson who died in the line of duty. Army Spec. Dustin C. Jackson, 21, of Arlington, Texas was killed on March 12, 2008. His vehicle was hit by ricochet fire while driving in Tallil, Iraq. The only morphine this Jackson has available was the inject pen that soldiers carry into battle in case their buddy is wounded.

When the local newspaper did a brief write-up on Dustin Jackson he was remembered as a child who "once raced home to ask his mother to make a grilled-cheese sandwich so he could take it to a homeless woman he had seen. As an adolescent, he wanted to give a pair of his shoes to a homeless man."

When friends sent him off at a farewell party, Jackson said a desire to help other soldiers in Iraq overrode fear for his own life.

The ultimate irony for all of them, these Jackson Five of the Iraq war, is that they could have been the subjects of a recent song by their much more famous and celebrated namesake, Michael Jackson.

It's called "What More Can I Give." The lyrics begin: "How many people would have to die before we understand. How many children have to cry before we do all we can. What have I got that I can give?"

The Jackson Five I wrote about understood. They truly gave all they could.

• Chuck Goudie, whose column appears each Monday, is the chief investigative reporter at ABC 7 News in Chicago. The views in this column are his own and not those of WLS-TV. He can be reached by e-mail at chuckgoudie@gmail.com and followed at www.twitter.com/ChuckGoudie

AUGUST!

2009-08-01T16:42:00.003-04:00

It's august yay! Which means I will get to meet this crazy little princess inside me who is insistent on bruising my ribs and making me so uncomfortable! lol. I hope she comes soon! I have no signs tho lol. I go back to the dr on Monday and we will see if I have made any more progress but I highly doubt it. Today I have been trying to clean the house and get all of the laundry and everything done just in case she decides to come early. I am so anxious and impatient but not looking forward to the pain of labor lol.

This week has been kinda rough for my family. Our good family friend Jean has been diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. She and her husband are both in wheelchairs and have been their whole lives with cerebral palsy so chemo is def going to take a told on her. They are both two of the strongest people I have ever known. I wish I could be home to just give her a hug. She is determined to fight this. She even wore a pair of pink boxing gloves to the dr :) I know God has a plan for her but it's going to be a tough battle and I just pray she beats it. My nana beat it twice so I know it is possible! Any prayers are greatly appreciated. :)

here are some pics to put a face to a name!

Dilated :D

2009-07-27T12:57:00.001-04:00

So I went to the dr today expecting to still be closed up tight since I don't have any contractions or any signs of her coming but I am 1 cm dilated. YAY! The dr said my cervix is really thick still though but at least there is some progress. I saw a brand new dr today. It was his first day at the office but I liked him. He seemed nice but man it hurt when he checked me. OUCH. I was cramping for a while afterward but he said I would be.

I am going to start walking, walking, walking and try to be more progressed next appt which is Monday. I am also gonna bounce of my workout ball. They say it helps speed things up too. I hope she comes on her own before I would get induced but we will see.

Matthew is so excited and he says he is tired of waiting lol. It is so cute. I can't wait to see him as a daddy. He will be the best daddy! This week I think I will try to get everything all done just in case I progress fast, although I don't see that happening lol.

Just a quick update!

getting close.

2009-07-23T14:42:00.002-04:00

Its hard to fathom that in just 3 1/2 weeks I will no longer just be me, but I will have a baby solely dependent on me and Matthew. WOAH. i cannot wait but it is kinda scary too. Matthew will be leaving for WLC when she is 2 weeks old so I believe I am going to go home to TN, which will be great to see everyone but also crazy bc obviously none of her stuff is there. But I will handle it more when the time comes. I go to the dr on Monday and I start getting checked for dialation. I doubt I have done anything but it would be nice if I had :D

I am so uncomfortable now. The pubic bone/pelvis pain is INSANE! I actually cried the other night bc I couldn't move. Oh man, I felt like a wimp but I am still determined to do this naturally. I know my body was made to handle it so it will be okay as long as it's not medically necessary for me to have meds. I hate even taking tylenol so I def don't want pain meds!

I have tried to do more walking this week and hopefully matthew will go walking with me tonight so I can start progressing! I have started making bows, and trying to learn to sew and I am exciting to see her in her little outfits with her bows!

Okay enough rambling, I have to get this house clean. AHHH overwhelming to think it has to be baby proof haha.

5 more weeks :D

2009-07-14T21:57:00.002-04:00

So in 5 more weeks I should have my baby girl here! If she doesn't come on her own by Aug 18th then I should be induced that day so that Matt can have 2 full weeks with her before he goes to WLC for 3 weeks. Stupid army has to take him away but I know I will be okay. I am so anxious to get to meet this little one who has taken over my insides haha. I finally finished her room and got everything set up yesterday and its so cute :D

My mom and brother are visiting this week and its nice to have family around! We went shopping today and bought me a sewing machine and I'm gonna learn how to make Kynlee some outfits and blankets. woohoo. I am going to try to learn how to make bows too! yay! Tomorrow and Thursday we are going to tour D.C. and I think it's going to be fun! :)

At my next dr appt they start checking for dialation. its getting close. So exciting :D

Kynlee's Nursery so far.

2009-06-10T10:28:00.004-04:00

its been a while

2009-06-09T21:28:00.004-04:00

we have had a lot happen since i last wrote in here. We are all moved to VA and i personally don't like it but hey it's somewhere to live for the time being. Matt seems to like his job which is good and I do like my dr but having no friends really bites lol. I have already been home to TN twice (in april and then again in may) i was in a wedding and then my baby shower was in may. Also i am going home next week for my sisters wedding. its been a busy few months! I only have 10 1/2 weeks left till little Kynlee Grace is here. Time is flying but dragging too lol. I am now having dr appts every 2 weeks and things are going good. Im tired of gaining weight but if shes healthy i don't mind :D I thought i'd post some pics of her room and the latest ultrasound we had done.
29 weeks 2 days

ITS A GIRL!!

2009-03-27T11:12:00.004-04:00

So we went on Wednesday to have our big ultrasound and she had her legs open the whole time and it's a girl! :D

The whole thing took about an hour bc she wouldn't cooperate and let the tech get her measurements but she finally did. And she's measuring right about on sched just a few days early so it's great! We couldn't get great pics bc she had her hands in front of her face the whole time lol. But we are so excited :D

The movers came yesterday so we have no furniture and we have tons of cleaning to do but we leave on Tuesday for VA. It's nuts and i'm nervous to not know anyone but I think it'll be great!

Feeling HUGE

2009-03-20T12:10:00.002-04:00

ugh so I used to complain that I wasn't showing and now I can't stop stressing about how much I have gained. Its not that I am even showing that much but I feel like I have gained too much. I have gained 9-10 lbs and Im only 18 weeks. Some say that's average which I think it is for a normal weight range person but I was already considered overweight pre pregnancy so I am on a stricker gaining schedule and I am over what i need to be. BLAH! I am trying to motivate myself to workout everyday doing my lil dvd I got and I did it 3 times this week but yesterday I didn't and today I am being way lazy. I at least have gone walking everyday this week so at least I am doing something. I wish I would just stop freaking out and gain whatever I gain but I don't wanna be huge. oh well i guess its part of being pregnant.

We have our big ultrasound in 5 days and I am getting super excited and also paranoid that our little peanut won't show his or her stuff lol. I really am dying to know what we are having!

We are getting really close to moving and it's getting stressful and exciting too! Only about a week and a half left. It's nuts! I've got a lot done besides organizing this house but it'll come together, i know it will!

well all for now :D

Blessed

2009-03-06T08:58:00.002-05:00

So we went to the dr on Monday and it took them forever to find the heartbeat on the doppler lol. The lil peanut wanted to move around too much but we finally got it strong and it was 155. I still check it everyday but it's just nice when the doctor confirms it :D I also got my anatomy scan ultrasound scheduled for March 25th. I pray the baby shows us his or her stuff so we can know. Only 19 days and im so flipping excited! I'm gonna drink a big glass of orange juice so the baby will be active lol. I cannot wait to start buying stuff. only 4 more weeks until i am halfway done, that's just crazy to me. Matt says my stomach is huge but I just feel rather fat lol. It's not a good feeling but it'll be well worth it :D

I only have one week left of work, thank goodness. Then it's organizing/packing time and time to move! I am so excited to move but sad to leave my good neighbors! I am going home the 17th and it'll be good to see my family since they won't be around my entire pregnancy.

But anyway just a quick update bc I have to get ready for work. But life is truely amazing and I thank God for everything we are blessed with. Things could always be better or worse but just be okay with what life deals you! Faith doesn't make things easy but it makes things possible!

baby fever :)

2009-02-28T19:22:00.002-05:00

Well lately I am like obsessed with knowing what I am having. It's driving me nuts lol. I guess it's more the fact of not knowing when I will get to find out. I go to the dr in two days and hopefully they will order me an ultrasound for the end of march. if not i'll prob end up paying for one lol. I found the cutest bedding for a boy. It's teddy bears and really could be used for either sex but since I am obsessed with pink I may have to go more girly but idk.

Matts mom told us she will buy the crib for us which is awesome. I found one for 299 at target and its a 4 in 1 and I love it. It kinda scares me looking to buy stuff when I still have so long to go but i guess it doesn't hurt to look! lol.

I have gained like 5-6 lbs now and I don't like it bc I just feel fat. I don't really fit into anything and i'm still too small for my maternity clothes so i just wear sweats alot which is fine but i feel so ugly. its driving me nuts.

We move at the end of the month.. oh jeez. I only have 2 weeks of work left and then it is clean time. I can't wait to get everything organized for the move so i can feel less stressed. The movers should come the 26th and we leave the 31st. We already got the housing on post we wanted. we only had two options since we only get a 2 bdr and they only had 2 options. We really need a 3 bdr bc of all our workout equipment but we will have to make do. although its stressing me too lol.

Having the doppler is just about the greatest thing ever. I check the heartbeat almost everyday and I can hear the baby move and it's just so awesome and calms my nerves. I am still nervous daily but I have faith :) I am kinda wanting a boy now but I will be oh so happy with a girl too! Okay enough rambling!

Pregnancy isn't so fun right now

2009-02-15T19:42:00.002-05:00

So I am so thankful to be pregnant, don't get me wrong but so far this pregnancy has sucked. The ultrasounds and hearing the heartbeat are simply amazing but that is about the only thing that has kept my spirits up. I thankfully didn't have morning sickness too bad. i got very nauseous a lot but never threw up but I just don't feel good or comfortable at all. I have a cold again, no voice, and just feel awful. I am taking benadryl but it doesn't do anything really so I have just been resting. But my husband feels like all I do is lay in bed and not want him around. I am so moody and depressed and just BLAH it's ridiculous. I don't know if it's my hormones or being sick or the stress of moving or what but it sucks. I just want to enjoy it but it's so not enjoyable right now. But anyway, I am almost out of the first trimester so maybe I will get some energy back. :)

I am supposed to get the doppler I rented in the mail tomorrow so that will be exciting! I have tomorrow off work so I am going to do some much needed cleaning. We thought we would finally have a long weekend together but the one day we both have off he ends up with CQ all day and night. Ugh sucks. lol. But at least it'll give me a chance to clean.

Anyway, hopefully I can snap out of this funk soon bc it's depressing.

woot woot. good day.

2009-02-09T21:03:00.006-05:00

We had our ultrasound this morning and everything looked good. It was so cool to see how much our baby has progressed! The heartbeat was 150 and going strong. According to my due date(aug 21) I am 12 wks and 3 days but the baby was measuring 13 wks and 2 days which would be Aug 15th. I'm not sure if they will change the due date or not bc I am not going to see the dr until March 2nd but either way I know my baby is doing good. And I am almost out of the first trimester and my baby is measuring just days away from it woot! The cyst they found last time was gone so that was a blessing!

I also just rented a doppler for a month. I wanna try one out before I buy one so I should get it within 2-5 business days. i am excited to be able to hear the heartbeat whenever I want. So anyway, today went well and I am so thankful for the little blessing God has given us. I can't wait to be further along! :D

Blah blah blah. stress.

2009-02-07T10:23:00.002-05:00

So we found out the other day we are no longer moving to Ft Belvoir but to a little bitty base called Ft Myer. It is right beside Arlington National Cemetery and down the street from the Pentagon. Great location sure, but they don't even have housing on post. I was already stressed about it but now knowing they don't have housing it stresses me out even more. They supposed have some rentals for military that waive sec deposits and all that but since his orders changed he doesn't even have new ones yet so we can't even start the housing process. I mean yes, we have 2 months to figure it all out but I like to have things done in advance and well the military won't let you work that way lol. UGH.

Also I have been stressing way to much about something going wrong with the baby. I guess it's bc I am not showing like at all, don't feel the baby bc it's too early and am not feeling terrible anymore so I don't really feel pregnant but then again I have said this a lot lol. The spotting really scared bc there shouldn't be a reason for it and the dr didn't do anything to find a reason but I guess since the heartbeat was found that everything should be fine. I have an ultrasound on Monday and am just praying for good results :D I guess all the horror stories of miscarriages out there make me so nervous.

anyway just a small update, i have like the worst headache ever. blah.

Sickness & Spotting

2009-02-04T18:42:00.002-05:00

So last week was rough. I went to work on Monday but then I got sick with an awful cold on Monday night and ended up being out the rest of the week. I was all set to go back on Thursday and then I ended up with the stomach bug and that sucked. But this week my cold isn't quite as strong so I have been able to go to work :)

Monday I woke up and had some spotting. It wasn't bad but I had been cramping terribly since Saturday so it really worried me. I called the dr and they said to come in as soon as I could so I woke Matt up to take me. They looked for the heartbeat on the doppler and found it almost immediately! So that made me feel good. The heartbeat was strong at 150. So now I don't have another appt until March 2nd which makes me nervous but I will deal with it. I just pray nothing else goes wrong before then. I have another ultrasound on Monday so I am excited for that and just keeping faith nothing bad will happen! That's really all I can do.

We move at the end of March and I am really getting excited! I am going to go home for a week or so a week or so after we get settled in for Megans wedding and it'll be nice to be home for a little while although it will be strange not having hubs with me but he should be able to drive down for the wedding at least :D

Cyst

2009-01-25T14:18:00.002-05:00

So I went on Thursday to get my u/s results and he said everything looks great with the baby but they found a cyst on my left ovary. He said by the look of it, it should go away on it's own so I'm praying it will! I go back for another u/s on Feb 9th to see whats going on with it! He also tried to hear the heartbeat again with the doppler and this time he found it! I was so excited! I am 10 1/2 weeks and so ready to be out of the first trimester. I am still nauseous a lot but still haven't thrown up so I feel lucky! lol.

I am working again but honestly wish I wasn't. The kids at the daycare are sick so often that it's just not healthy for me to work there. BUT we need the extra money before we move. So I only have 2 1/2 more months so I think I will tough it out.

We found a house in VA in Woodbridge that I think we are going to rent. Its 3 Bedroom and 2 Bath. Its not very big but it comes with washer & dryer and has a garage. So it sounds good to me. Some people have told me the area isn't too great but then someone else said it wasn't bad at all so I am just going to pray it's the place for us! :)

Other than that, I go back to the dr on the 19th.

Ultrasound

2009-01-21T07:47:00.004-05:00

So I had an ultrasound yesterday and was so nervous. Matthew didn't get to go with me bc he had his own appt to go to so I had to go alone. They did one on my stomach first. It was hard to see detail since its so small still but we could see the heartbeat and then I got to hear it. They said it was 171 bpm! I was sooo relieved and excited! They did the stomach one for a while and then did a vaginal one to make sure the bleeding spot I had wasn't there anymore. I could see the baby much more clearer and I could see the baby moving all around and the arms and legs! It was so cool! :) I got some pics for Matthew and the family! I feel so much better now and am leaving the baby in God's hands bc I know He has this in His will! The bleeding spot was all gone too so I felt so happy! Our little baby is growing well and has a strong heartbeat so continue to pray for our little miracle! :D

OUR BABY AT 9 WEEKS AND 4 DAYS!

Dr appt.

2009-01-19T22:27:00.002-05:00

So I am 9 weeks and 3 days today and had my first dr appt with the new dr. I have been feeling not so pregnant lately and really nervous so i was hoping to feel better after this appt but im still nervous. we did a lot of paperwork- transferring all my stuff from my old dr. and then i had a pap done which was oh so painful thanks to my endometriosis! LOVELY! lol. They tried to hear the heartbeat with the doppler but couldn't since I am still so early, or at least i hope that is why! They scheduled me for an ultrasound tomorrow so i am praying for a strong healthy heartbeat and baby. i am so nervous tho! Anyway- just an update! I am due on Aug 21st! woot.

Heartbeat and vacations

2008-12-30T10:05:00.002-05:00

So yesterday I went back to the doctor and all my levels had gone up as normal but since I'm still spotting (barely) they did another ultrasound! I was pretty happy to get one bc my mom was with me and I knew it would make her so happy to get to see the baby and we actually heard the heartbeat. It was so cool. It was 122 so someone said it may be a boy but who knows. We just want a healthy baby :D I am still at a higher risk for miscarriage bc of the bleeding but he said everything looks fine so I am leaving everything in God's hands bc I know He will carry us through this! I am so excited though and cannot wait to be further along!

We leave on Saturday to go to Michigan for 5 or 6 days. I think it will be nice and relaxing up there bc we won't have a million people to see. Then on the 12th we leave for our cruise. The DR said its up to us if we still wanna go. He said the only thing is if I had a miscarriage on the cruise it would ruin the trip and I would prob blame the cruise but he said that wouldn't cause it and if it were him he'd go. So I have just been praying everything goes okay and I am really feeling good about everything! A positive attitude always makes things better so why not have one?

Today I think I am going to go to the movies with my mom so that will be fun. I need to do some of our laundry bc jeez we have stuff everywhere. We have been staying at like 3 diff places and have stuff all over lol. Well this was just a quick update but keep praying for our little peanut! :D

oh baby oh baby...

2008-12-23T06:15:00.003-05:00

Sooo shocking news, we found out on the 17th that I am pregnant. We were both in shock but are really happy about it. It's scary to me too tho bc i don't want anything to go wrong in the early pregnancy bc I am only about 5 wks and 3 days along. I actually started bleeding on Saturday and freaked out. I got in to see the dr yesterday and he said it is most likely implantation bleeding and everything looks normal to him. He did a lot of blood work, a pelvic exam, & an ultrasound. It was too early to see the heartbeat but you could see the little sac lol. It was pretty cool. I go back on Wednesday for more blood work and then I see the dr again on Monday to make sure my levels are going up as normal. I pray that they are. All I can really do is leave this pregnancy in God's hands. I have a lot of people praying for this baby and my entire church prayed for me on Sunday and it felt great. I am just gonna stay positive and know that no matter what happens God is behind it :)

We finally made it to TN early Saturday morning after 19 hours. We got stuck in a blizzard a a stand still for an hr and a half in PA. There was ice on the roads topped with about 6 inches of snow so people were wrecking everywhere. A tractor trailer had slid off the road causing us to be stopped so long. It was very stressful. Then our Durango started acting up but thank goodness it was an easy fix and the hubs knew how to fix it so then we finally made it home :D

Its been nice being home but I havent gotten to do much thanks to the bleeding. I have been laying down a lot. Yesterday I got to go to lunch with some friends tho and today I am going to get Delaney and then tonight my fam and I are going to the lights at rock city so I am super super excited! :D

Not long till Christmas yayyY!

Photoshop & new camera :D

2008-12-03T22:47:00.003-05:00

So I got photoshop CS4 Extended today and as a PSP user photoshop confuses the heck out of me. But I know as far as editing pics goes it is better so I am in the pain in the butt process of learning the whole program while still using PSP for now for my layout site. UGH I need to be able to snap my fingers and learn it haha. I guess I will cram this weekend with tutorials and all that jazz :)

Tomorrow my camera is supposed to be delivered so I am super pumped about that! YAY! I cannot wait to get to play around and learn how it works. I haven't been this pumped about anything in a while!

But on a sad note, I think I am getting sick again. Man, I need a new profession without sickly kids lol. But I just love them. haha. I hope it doesn't turn in bronchitis bc I have already had it like twice and I get it a million times a year. BLAH!

22 days till XMAS! WOOT!

Oh the Holidays...

2008-11-29T21:32:00.002-05:00

So I am in such the Christmas spirit lately and I think I'm driving the hubby crazy haha! We put up our decorations even before Thanksgiving bc we are leaving to go home on the 19th so I wanted to enjoy them at least! :D I have been watching a million Xmas movies and just enjoying the spirits. I guess I am more this year bc we actually have snow here! I love the snow but I have decided driving in it is AWFUL! I only drove in it once and about had an anxiety attack. But I guess I will get used to it.

Only 19 days until I am back home with my family and friends for 10 whole days! YAY! I am pretty stoked about getting to visit home! We will be home the 20th - 30th and then are going to see my grandparents in Michigan for 10 days also, then back to NY and then Jan 12-17th we are going on our cruise! AHHH so much to look forward to in the next couple months! :D

We have been having financial strain lately but it is all coming together now. I got hired for the assistant pre toddler position so I will be working mon-fri 11:30-5:30 so I will be guaranteed hours so I love that and it will help us tremendously. We also got our orders for Virginia so in April we are officially moving again. I am really excited about it now tho. I have decided I am going to go to school for photography in VA. I have always wanted to but Chattanooga never offered it so now I am going to take advantage of it. I also ordered my first "big girl" camera... the Nikon D60 SLR! That is what I am most excited for! I hope it comes fast and then I'll be taking pictures of everything! haha!

Monday is our last bible study and it makes me sad but I am so blessed to have gotten to be apart of it!

Well I think that's it for now! :D

Election, election, election

2008-11-05T20:48:00.002-05:00

Okay so the hubs and I didn't vote bc well I didn't make the deadline for the absentee ballots. Im a dumb dumb. But oh well. But we actually were for Obama despite most military people. I hate all the negativeness that is now going around bc yes, everyone has their own opinions but we are a UNITE NATION and even though we may not like the president we still need to be America and be united. It worries me not about who our president is, but about the people of America acting so crazy. I mean no one acted like this when Bush got elected again and look at the shit he did to our country. He about ran it into the ground. I am not political at all but all this crap talking is not gonna help our country at all. So let's just all be united again. haha yeah, I live in a dream world lol.

Tonight my endo went insanely painful and I was doubled over in pain and all I could do was scream and cry. I think I need to find a dr up here and try to get some pain meds or something bc it's sucking bad lately. My hubby tries to help but really it's just not stinking fair lol.

Well thats all Im gonna write for now. I have to let max out bc the hubs passed out on the couch. Poor thing caught my cold and he is sick as crap :(

He's Home!

2008-11-04T21:42:00.002-05:00

So after many many MANY delays and frustration, Matthew is FINALLY home! He got home on Thursday Oct 30th and it has been amazing having him home! I mean no, it is def not a fairytale or anything bc there have been major adjustments to get used to for both of us but for the most part it's been amazing! We have spent way too much money but got a new tv and a kitchen table and other stuff we probably didn't need but he had to get all his new toys lol. He has rearranged the upstairs and although I didn't want him to, it does look a lot better. :D He started back to work today and I start back to work tomorrow. It will be nice to get back into the normal routine of things and to actually make some money again since we are broke lol.

But anyway, short update but it's bedtime.

its almost done :D :D

2008-10-09T21:01:00.002-04:00

okay so yeah, Im a slacker at updating this thing but I have been going non stop lately. Somehow I got to work everyday this week so time is flying by thank goodness :D And I work tues-fri next week since we are closed on Monday for the holiday! The first 2 batch of soldiers came home Tues & Wed and I went to the homecoming ceremony at 3 am on Wed to take pics for nahlea. Matt was supposed to be home then but got switched back to his old unit but he will be home in about 2 1/2 weeks or so. OMG im sooo excited. EEEK! I have so much to do to get everything ready before then. I cannot believe the time is coming. We will have survived almost 14 months woot woot. Our first and supposedly only deployment. yayy! Life has been really good lately :) I am walking for Breast Cancer Awareness on Saturday and although I know no one who is walking I am proud I am still going to do it! My nana (great grandma) survived breast cancer twice! So I am walking in honor of her and all the other women who aren't here with us today! Hopefully this weekend I will finish up his welcome home signs and get all the closest set and all that good stuff! I hope time flies by!

Also, we are trying to go home for thanksgiving but it depends on if anyone wants to fly us home haha. We are broke but hopefully they will! lol. We put a deposit on our cruise and we leave Jan 12th for Grand Cayman and Cozumel for 5 days! We are sooo looking forward to that! YAY! okay all for now. Im exhausted!

Help me out :D

2008-10-03T01:07:00.002-04:00

So I am walking for breast cancer next Saturday and would LOVE for anyone to help me out by donating for cancer research! All you have to do is click on my link and you can donate as little as $5! This doesn't benefit me bc I don't have cancer but I do know people who do so take a little time and donate for a good cause! :)

Making Strides Against Breast Cancer

Dear Coworkers, Friends and Family,

This year, hundreds of thousands of people will hear the words, "You have breast cancer," and there's a good chance that some of them will be people we know and love. I have chosen to fight back against this disease and help make a difference by participating in the American Cancer Society Making Strides Against Breast Cancer, and I hope you will join me.

Making Strides Against Breast Cancer is our opportunity to honor and celebrate breast cancer survivors, educate women about early detection and prevention, and raise money to fund lifesaving research and support programs to help fight breast cancer. But Making Strides is more than just the name of a walk, it describes the amazing progress we can make if we work together to defeat this disease.

Below is a link to my personal page. I hope you will visit my site and sign up to join my team. If you prefer, you can start your own team, sign up to walk as an individual, or make a donation. Hope starts with me and it can continue with you. Please join my team and walk with us to experience an incredible day of inspiration and meaning, and to provide hope for all people facing breast cancer.

To donate now, use this link to visit my personal page.

Sincerely,

Emily Hudson

2007 MSABC Icon (15pxl) View the American Cancer Society Privacy Policy and State Fundraising Notices.

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Life as I know it is lame.

2008-09-30T21:13:00.002-04:00

So Im bored with my life. like really bored. I need some excitement or a challenge or something. I really wanna be in school right now so I am driving myself crazy that I am not. But in time I will be :) I only have about 3 1/2 weeks until my life is exciting again but boy does the time seem to be dragging. Although I have been working a lot and staying busy but now I am too busy and need to get stuff done at the house lol. Tomorrow I am going to hopefully book our cruise or figure out where we can go. I am so siked to go on one with the hubs. We just randomly decided to go. I think we probably will have to charge some of it but it will be worth it!

ONLY THREE AND A HALF WEEKS! I think my mind is in a state of denial bc it just seems so unrealistic lol. im so excited but jealous that the first batch of guys come back next week and my husband was the first group to leave lol. but it's okay. I will have him back soon enough! YAYYY!

Okay not much to update on so yeah im boring haha.

Project 365

2008-09-24T19:55:00.001-04:00

So I decided to start a Project 365 and I started a new blog specifically for that. So here it is in case your interested :D

anger, birthday, and life

2008-09-24T12:04:00.001-04:00

So monday was supposed to be good, I had an amazing bible study and was feeling great about life and everything. I go home to get a phone call from my husband saying he had something to tell me but didn't want to ruin my birthday. So I proceeded to make him tell me and he had more army dilemma. So this time the army decides after he has already signed his orders for us to move to Ft Belvoir that he doesn't have enough time left on his contract to move. He would only have 14 months when we get there and he needs 24. So they tell him, he has an option to reenlist, to extend his contract for the remainder 10 months (without re enlisting, or extra bonus), or to just stay at drum until his contract is up. Of course by this point I don't really care what happens bc I look at it as this, no matter what we do the army is gonna do whatever they want with us. It's like a never ending battle for stabilization. I try not to get angry but I am. I'm angry that they do this to us so many times and yet my husband is still gone. I am angry that he is still gone after a year and that I am stuck in waiting. I hate to be angry but it like overwhelms me sometimes. So finally we decided to just extend his contract for 10 months with no money or re enlisting. We decided this bc if he stays at Drum he will more than likely get stop lossed and deployed again. At Belvoir, he is supposed to not be able to deploy. Now in all honesty I don't really believe that but maybe they will keep their word for once. Who knows, only time will tell. He is trying to get the extension all set up but has to wait for something else to come off his record before he can so once again we are just waiting. BLAH.

My 22nd birthday was yesterday. I was in a terrible mood and was mean to Matt. I was just mad I was alone and it just sucked. My family put together some great lil care package/fun stuff for me to open and it made me smile but I was still in a bad mood. I was supposed to go out to eat with Heather but I missed my homecoming briefings at 10 so I had to go to the ones at 5:30. But I did learn a lot of information and it made it seem so close but I am very impatient at this point.

But now I just am waiting for things to happen. My life is really boring here with no one to even go eat with or anything. There is no friend I have here so it just sucks. Im in a state of Blah. I know God has a plan and a reason for this but sometimes I just wish I knew what they were.

Cleaning time...

Operation Tribute 2008

2008-09-21T15:11:00.002-04:00

So this morning at church we had Operation Tribute 2008. It really made me remember why I am so proud of what my husband does and so thankful to all of the men and women who serve in our military. But they also recognized the silent soldiers, the ones who don't wear the uniforms, but who are soldiers nonetheless, and that is the wives. I felt so proud to be a military wife today and although my husband couldn't be at the service and be recognized, I know he is a true hero and fighting so that we can all be free! I may not agree with our country on a lot of things and even on this war but I do stand 110% behind the troops and am so thankful for what they sacrifice :D

Today I want to clean the house like top to bottom but that's a whole lot of work haha. We will see what I can get accomplished. If I didn't have constant sinus headaches everyday I would probably be much better off. Stupid change in pressure. lol. But we will see how much I get done. I may just take it easy and read too. I have all week off so I have plenty of time.

The bday is in 2 days! Woot. :D

Oh the time sits still while waiting...

2008-09-20T23:14:00.004-04:00

So matthew got a date to leave Iraq today and told me when he is flying out so now the countdown has really begun! :D He should be home for halloween and I ordered us some costumes today! woot woot! Here is his: and here is mine: He is my prisoner of loveeee. muahahaha lol.

I am getting so excited for our lives to finally be normal but I can't really even fathom having him be apart of my everyday life. It will be such a nice change! :D We really want to take a vacation on his leave and I almost booked us a Disney cruise last night but I decided we better just wait until the next block leave (prob in like a yr haha). We are going to go home for xmas and to michigan too so we will surely find something fun to do in between!

I applied for college today but I am not sure how it is all going to work since I will have to do online until I get there so I emailed them and hopefully will get a response. It is all pretty stressful and I would like to get it taken care of and set up for the most part before matthew gets home so I'm not stressing. But who knows.

My bday is in 3 days(well really 2 now since its almost midnight). It is really weird being up here alone for it. I wanted to go home but the briefings are on my bday and bible study is monday and it was just too hectic. I really miss my friends and family and most of all I miss my two favorite kids, Eli & Delaney. I never knew how much a special bond with a child could mean to you until now. Blah it's sad :(

Okay enough rambling... time to sleep. Church in the a.m. :D

"we" aren't better, we just live different lives.....

2008-09-20T23:08:00.000-04:00

Other spouses get married and look forward
to building equity in a home and putting down family roots.
Military spouses get married
and know they'll live in base housing or rent,
and their roots must be short
so they can be transplanted frequently.

Other spouses decorate a home
with flair and personality that will last a lifetime.
Military spouses decorate a home with flare
tempered with the knowledge that no two base houses
have the same size windows or same size rooms.
Curtains have to be flexible and multiple sets are a plus.
Furniture must fit like puzzle pieces.

Other spouses have living rooms
that are immaculate and seldom used.
Military spouses have immaculate living room/dining room combos.
The coffee table gota scratch or two moving from Germany,
but it still looks pretty good.

Other spouses say good-bye to their spouse for a business trip
and know they won't see them for a week.
They are lonely, but can survive.
Military spouses say good-bye to their deploying spouse and
know they won't see them for months, or for a remote, a year.
They are lonely, but will survive.

Other spouses, when a washer hose blows off, call Maytag
and then write a check out for getting the hose reconnected.
Military spouses will cut the water off and fix it themselves.

Other spouses get used to saying "hello"
to friends they see all the time.
Military spouses get used to saying "good-bye"
to friends made the last two years.

Other spouses worry about whether their child
will be class president next year.
Military spouses worry about whether their child
will be accepted in yet another new school next year and
whether that school will be the worst in the city ... again.

Other spouses can count on spouse participation
in special events ... birthdays, anniversaries, concerts,
football games, graduation,
and even the birth of a child.
Military spouses only count on each other;
because they realize that
the Flag has to come first if freedom is to survive.
It has to be that way.

Other spouses put up yellow ribbons
when the troops are imperiled across the globe
and take them down when the troops come home.
Military spouses wear yellow ribbons around their hearts
and they never go away.

Other spouses worry about being late
for mom's Thanksgiving dinner.
Military spouses worry about getting back from Japan
in time for dad's funeral.

And other spouses are touched by the television program
showing an elderly lady putting a card down
in front of a long, black wall that has names on it.
The card simply says "Happy Birthday, Sweetheart.
You would have been sixty today."
A military spouse is the lady with the card.
And the wall is the Vietnam Memorial.

I would never say military spouses are better or worse
than other spouses are.
But I will say there is a difference.
And I will say that our country asks more of military spouses
than is asked of other spouses.
And I will say without hesitation,
that military spouses pay just as high a price for freedom
as do their active duty husbands or wives.
Perhaps the price they pay is even higher.
Dying in service to our country isn't nearly as hard
as loving someone who has died in service to our country
and having to live without them.

God bless our military spouses for All
they freely give!

Author Unknown

Distance Learning...

2008-09-19T00:50:00.002-04:00

So I have tried to figure out how I can still go to school starting in Jan since the army decided to randomly move us in April and I cannot finish a semester here in NY sooo I have found a community college in VA and they have distance learning. I've been reading a lot on it and think I am going to do it but deadlines are like so soon for everything and it's all baffling me. I can't figure out even where to begin. Man, I just need a personal assistant to be my brain until my husband comes home because it's dead right now lol. I think I am just going to call the school and get my steps in order to get it all set up bc even if something were to happen and us not go, then it wouldn't be like I had to pay for it if I'm not going. I think it's better to go ahead and apply for financial aid and all that good stuff. I just want a degree, at this point I just wanna be in school. I feel like it's the major thing in life that I have failed at but I am determined to get a college degree and I am going to :) Even if it takes me till I am 35, although I really hope it doesn't. haha.

I thought my life was complicated before the joys of the army but now I can't even plan stuff because we randomly get moved. BUT I am thankful for getting to experience new things. As much as I DESPISE this deployment, I think it was MUCH needed for me to be alone and to figure out me and that I can make it on my own, although I'd MUCH rather have the hubs home to help. :D

So now my task is to get this school stuff underway... If I get this done, and the hubby comes home in like 5-6 weeks, my life will just be OMG great! AHHH! It seems so unbelievable thinking about how God has blessed me in my life even though I have been a royal screw up 75% of the time. I am finally starting to see things for what they are and not just pick out the negatives. Life really is too short not to embrace it and enjoy the journeys.

Off to rest and hopefully sleep so I can take care of my kiddos tomorrow. Thank goodness only a half day :D

Weight Loss Plan!

2008-09-18T01:51:00.004-04:00

So I started this whole diet/determination to lose weight on Friday May 27th, 2008. One day I just decided the amount of weight I had gained was ridiculous so it was time to do something about it. I started out at 165 and my goal is to be at 135 by Friday Oct 17th. I guess I could still do it but it's not looking very likely but I am truly happy with my progress! I only have about 7.5 lbs more until my goal so we will see what happens in the next month! :D

Starting Out...

2008-09-18T01:28:00.002-04:00

So I have decided to blog my thoughts since I can't seem to sleep anymore. I will just ramble in here.

Well homecoming is getting closer and closer and it has me so antsy and anxious that it is becoming more and more impossible to sleep or to do anything but wanna scream. lol. I've waited for him to be home for over a year now and finally in about 5-6 weeks he should be home with me for good. :)

This does impose some fears, questions, and uncertainties along with the excitement and happiness. In this year I have been alone, so I am now annoyingly independent, not by choice but because I had to get by. I don't really know how I will take to someone being around 24/7. I'm really not to worried about it because I have so much excitement the independence seems so small. I just hope we can work out a schedule together and finally get to be a normal family. :)

I have started this whole bible study on Monday nights and so far it has been great. I finally feel like I am growing closer to God and that he is going to do some amazing things in our lives. It is also a study on how to become a Godly wife and just a wife in general so I am gonna learn some basic tips since I really know nothing about being a wife to my hubby. One of these days, maybe I will master cooking haha. I think I am finally starting to get the cleaning down!

Found out that we will be moving in April and although I was in NO way happy about this, I think I am starting to get excited about it. I have heard nothing but good things about the base and maybe I will get a better army experience bc so far the army is a bunch of idiots for the most part, or that is how it has been shown to me. So although I will have only lived in NY for 9 months and moving again, I think it will be def worth it. God brought it to us and He will bring us through it :)

All for now. Maybe I can get some rest.
EmmaGrace♥